How can love defeat hate?

I can't stop thinking about the precious lives that were lost last night in Charleston. My heart is just broken for their family and friends. When things like this happen, I always question, Why? How could this have been prevented? Who could do such a thing? 

Someone doesn't just wake up one day, decide to hate someone that they don't even know, and make a plan to end that person's life. No. Things like this take time. Lots of time. Years of being taught to hate. To hate what is different. To hate what is not like you. Over the years, that hate inevitably causes you to assume that EVERYONE who fits that description much be exactly the same. 

I feel helpless. I wonder if there is any hope for change? What can we do to help this problem? How can we be a part of the solution?

Ask yourself this question.

How many friends do I have that are different from me?

Really ask yourself... how many friends, real friends, do I have that don't look like me

talk like me

act like me

think like me

worship like me

live like me

It is so much easier to be friends with people that are similar to us, because we just have so much in common. But because we are so uncomfortable with different, we simply avoid it. When we avoid it, we don't understand it. When we don't understand it, we make assumptions. When we make assumptions people get hurt. 

I was never taught to hate people, and I think that is true for a lot of us. But we are definitely taught, maybe even conditioned, to assume a lot about people. We take one look at a person and assume we know exactly who that person is. 

Based. on. stereotypes. 

That person must be dangerous because...

That person must be wealthy because...

That person must be uneducated because...

That person must be a hard worker because...

That person must come from a good family because...

That person doesn't belong here because...

And on and on and on and on!!!!

What if..... We stopped for a second...

smiled... held out our hand... and said... I want to know you. I want to know your story, your struggle, your triumphs, your family, your traditions, your heart. I want to know YOU. Because you are precious, and you are valuable, and you are important. And then.... listen. I mean REALLY listen. 

People just want to be loved.

So be love! Be kind when it doesn't make sense! Show grace when you just don't feel like it! Be intentional and get to know people that are not like you.

These are not easy things to do. I am not going to pretend like I am just so incredibly fantastic at this; and that I have tons of friends from every culture, race, and background. I am learning, and messing up, and trying, and growing, and messing up again, and trying again. But I refuse to give up. God has made us all different for a reason and I think those differences can be beautiful and valued and celebrated. But I also know that despite our differences, we are all very much alike.

We just want to be loved.