I don't care!

So the other day I was down on my hands and knees, in the living room, picking up toys and it just hit me.  I don't care!  I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!!!  Let me just back up for a minute and say that there are plenty of things I care greatly about and would give my life for, but there is one thing I am constantly struggling with in my mind.  People's opinion of me.  Thoughts are constantly racing through my mind, like most women, and lately I have been unknowingly seeking out approval from everyone.  With the adoption getting closer and closer I find myself wondering what my friends think, what my family thinks, and even what complete strangers think and then I realized, with tears running down my face, I DON'T CARE!!!  The only thing that should matter to me is what God thinks.  Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.  Galatians 1:10  Am I listening to His voice, am I hungry for His living word, am I following His plan, and am I bringing Him glory in the things that I am doing?  Support from the ones you care about is nice, but it is not the most important thing.  If my only aim is to live for the glory of Christ, then I should not be concerned with the opinions of others. 

Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart. Psalm 119:34  Brandon and I keep praying for wisdom to know when God is saying, "I want you to go" and when he is saying, "I want you to stay right here and trust me." I believe it is in the waiting that God works in us the most.  Right now we are just....waiting.  Waiting for the finances to fall in place, waiting for the paperwork to be approved, waiting for the FBI to verify that, in fact, we are not dangerous criminals, and waiting to meet our new son who we know nothing about.  But in this waiting we are praying.  Praying that God will receive all the glory and praise for whatever He chooses to do through us.  That He will use us to further the kingdom of heaven by unconditionally loving His children.

Here are the lyrics to an amazing song that has been very powerful to us lately.

"Without You" by Shane & Shane
I can walk through the storm. I can walk by faith when my sight is gone.
Just as long as you are here with me.
And I can gain everything, what do I have if I don't have the king?
Oh, I need to know you're here with me.

Here I am calling out Father, can you hear me, can you hear me?
I don't want to go without you.
Here I am can you talk a little louder. So I can hear you, I want to hear you.
I don't want to move without You.

Even though I believe you've taken up a home inside me and you'll never leave.
I still need to know you're here with me.

If your presence goes I don't want to stay.
If your presence stays I don't want to go.

YouTube video of "Without You" by Shane and Shane