ArkLaTex Elite Basketball Progam

To say that Brandon Shaver loves basketball would be the understatement of the year! A few years ago he started ArkLaTex Elite right here in Shreveport, Louisiana. After coaching all three of our boys he noticed there was a great need for training in core fundamentals. Kids loved playing basketball, but a lot of them needed help to develop their technique and perfect their skills. Brandon started training and putting on clinics and camps around town. As the kids grew and developed he started to form competitive teams that have traveled all around the ArkLaTex area competing in tournaments.

As of right now he has four competitive teams, one for 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th grade boys. One of my favorite things to watch as a parent is not only his dedication to their development as players, but to developing them as confident men of faith. The teams have formed a close brotherhood. They are a family that supports each other both on and off the court.

I also love how practice is always fun and very high energy! Brandon is constantly pushing them to be competitive and teaching them how to stretch themselves to always strive to be better. I cannot wait to see how God uses all of these fine young men in the future for His glory!

Happy Birthday Bryce!

It was a year ago today that I got a phone call that changed our lives forever.  We had just driven 8 hours down to Pensacola, Florida to vacation with our family at the beach.  I remember it like it was yesterday, we were sitting in the backyard by Uncle Kevin's pool and it was shortly after 11:00.  My phone rang and I almost didn't answer it because I didn't recognize the number.  "Hi Megan, this is Scott from church.  A baby was born at the hospital today and the birth mom wants to choose an adoptive family for him.  Would you be interested?"  WHAT!?!?  My heart is racing just thinking about that moment.  I might have a son, that I know nothing about, and I'm sitting at the beach!  Everyone kept telling me that there was a lot of red tape and it would take a few days to sort everything out.  I needed to just relax and enjoy the beach while we waited.  Are you serious!  My heart was aching to be with my son, to see his face, to hold him for the first time and I was stuck.  God was working something out that was so beautiful and amazing and He wanted us to be a part of it.  The night before we left to go home Brandon and I went down to the beach to talk and make sure we were both on the same page and 100% committed to what was about to happen.  The next day we started to drive home and I could barely stand the excitement that was waiting for us back in Shreveport, when reality slapped me in the face.  Brandon wasn't feeling well so he asked me to drive while he rested.  It wasn't long after that he started puking in Kade's sand bucket from Peg Leg Pete's, Kade started crying because daddy was puking in his sand bucket, and Jaxon stared whining because he couldn't hear the movie over all of the puking and crying.  Silent tears started to stream down my face as thought to myself...what in the world are we getting ourselves into?  Are we really qualified to raise this child?  Surely there is another family out there that has there stuff together.  What is God thinking choosing us?!?

Megan, Bryce, and Brandon Shaver

I still think this way from time to time, but I have learned that God doesn't use perfect people.  He's not looking for someone who has it all figured out because He wouldn't get the glory for it.  I am so thankful we said yes that day, and I am so thankful that I get to be Bryce's mom.  I love him more than I ever thought possible and I could not imagine our family without him.  I might not have carried him for eight months, or been there to hear his first cry as he came into this world, but he is my son and nothing will ever change that. 

Happy Birthday Bryce Wyatt Shaver!  Don't you ever forget how much you are loved.

Adoption Sunday

I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. October 30th, five years ago, we were all riding in the car coming back to Shreveport from a weekend with the grandparents. We knew God was leading our family toward adoption, but we had no clue what that meant. We knew the need was great, but which direction should we go? How do we start the process? What do we need? Who do we talk to? The practical thing to do in my mind was just make a list. Later that week we called our local adoption agency, Open Arms, and set up a time to sit down and get all of our questions answered. We agreed that we would just take baby steps in the right direction as we could save up or raise enough money to do so. This took awhile as we could not even afford the home study, much less an adoption. We prayed that if this was God's will for our family, if this was what He wanted, that He would provide. We started saving and five months later we had the $1,000 we needed to start our home study. 

Throughout the entire process our prayer was that we would wait on the Lord, listening very carefully for His lead in every decision we made. We wanted to be certain we were not making decisions based on our own desires or emotions. We agreed not to do anything that we had not prayed about and knew God was saying yes to. The funny thing is, sometimes when you are crying out to God for answers, you hear... nothing. The louder we get, the more we beg and plead for answers... crickets. I've learned that it is in this painful silence that He draws us near to Himself. As we press in, read His word, dig deeper, and pursue Him with everything that we have... That! That is EXACTLY where He wants us! 

Music is my therapy and "Without You" by Shane & Shane was one of our favorite songs to sing during the adoption process. 

Megan and Brandon Shaver

Driving home to meet our new son, clear as day God spoke to me. Not audibly, but in my heart. I was starting to panic and worry that we were not prepared for what was waiting for us back home, when I felt an overwhelming peace come over me. Megan, when did I call you to this? Do the math. So I started counting in my head and thinking back. The week we felt God leading us toward adoption was the week that Bryce was conceived. He reminded me that He is always in control. He is sovereign over every single detail, and His timing is perfect. He said, you are not, in fact, prepared for this, but I am the one who will equip you as you go. 

As believers we are all called to care for the fatherless. (James 1:27) There are many ways we can do this. Praying for fatherless children around the world in orphanages, foster care, those at risk of being aborted, and the countless 'waiting' children across the country. Finding ways to support at risk women who might just need someone to support and help them out a little so they can keep their children. You can do this by volunteering at places like Heart of Hope or the Crisis Pregnancy Center. You can support an adoptive family by praying for them, donating money toward their adoption fees, babysitting their kids, bringing a meal, or just giving them a big hug and letting them know you are there for them. You might feel led to become a foster parent and provide a loving environment to a child who is in desperate need of a safe place, even if just for a little while. Finally you might feel that God is calling you to adopt a child into your family, the same way He has adopted you into His. Whichever way God is leading you to serve, just be sure to seek Him through every single decision.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.”

1 John 3:16-19

The best day ever!

I want to introduce you to my new friend Tina Sherman! We had the privilege of winning a photo session with Tina and it was simply the best day ever!!! She came out to our house in Shreveport and basically hung out with us all afternoon. She was so kind and patient with my boys and made everything feel so relaxed and fun. But this was no ordinary photo shoot. Tina wanted to tell a story with her pictures, to tell our story. No forced smiles, no 'say cheese', and no frustrated momma. She just wanted to take pictures of us doing our favorite things, things that were special to us. 

I'm not going to lie to you, my initial reaction was that maybe we could take the pictures somewhere else. Somewhere that looked nicer or was more clean or put together. And then I thought... nope. This is the house we live in, and this is our family, and this is our life. Messy and crazy and not put together. And I like that, because that is just who we are. Now, I did hide all of the laundry in my room and shut the door, but everything else was the same. 

When Tina sent me the pictures, I just cried. I cried because she was able to capture my family the way that I see them everyday. Matching color-coordinating outfits, with everyone looking at the camera and forcing a decent smile... they have their place, and I'm a sucker for a good one. But I really want to remember the little things. The way Kade crawls up in my lap when he gets hurt, or the grumpy face Bryce makes when he doesn't get what he wants, or how Brandon Shaver can always get my splinters out without hurting me, or the way Jaxon looks up at me with those big green eyes and freckles that never end. These pictures tell our story. A story that I love to hear over, and over again. Click on the link below to see the slideshow.

The Shaver Story slideshow

Just Keep Swimming

I don't know about your kids, but when summer hits, I think my kids honestly believe that I am a party planner. Everyday they ask what fun and exciting things I have planned, so as to cure them from their excruciating boredom. Most days I refer them to the list we made on the fridge of random things they can do around the house. Jump on the trampoline, go catch bugs, make a fort, climb a tree, draw a picture, read a book. But on this particular day nothing was working so I decided I was going to be the 'fun' mom and take the boys out for a kayak ride on the lake. 

I put life jackets on all three of my boys, but didn't have one for myself. No big deal, I thought, I'm a grown up. We piled in the kayak and took off for what I thought was going to be a quick trip around the lake before lunch. The boys had been begging, pleading, and whining all summer long for me to take them out on the lake and today, we were going to do it! 

Things were going well when Jaxon pointed out a snake swimming across the water. Uhhhh... yes son, that's a snake, how cool, as we quickly paddle in the opposite direction. After pushing past the salvinia (definition: a floating plant that grows on top of the water in clusters which develops into large, dense, floating mats) and navigating our way through the brush, we made it out into the open water. It was beautiful for all of about 10 minutes, until we lost our balance and flipped over in the middle of the lake.

Bryce immediately started flipping out and was screaming as if he was dying, Jaxon started hyperventilating, and Kade just looked like he had seen a ghost. I got them all to calm down and then tried coming up with a plan. We flipped the boat over, but it just filled up with water. I tried climbing on the back, but it kept flipping over. I tried putting the boys on the back, but it kept flipping over. I tried pulling the boat while the boys held onto the sides, but nothing would work! Every time I stopped to catch my breath the current that pulls toward the dam, would pull us into a huge patch of salvinia and further away from the shore. Once you get into salvinia it just wraps around your arms and weighs you down, not to mention scares the living daylights out of Bryce who would start screaming every time it got near him. 

Somehow I managed to keep the boys 'somewhat' calm through the whole thing, because I'm the mom and that's just what mom's do, but inside I was absolutely loosing it! (Ok, that's a lie. At one point I told Jaxon if he didn't stop talking about alligators and dying I was going to swim back there and punch him in the face. I know, mom of the year) I kept telling them everything was fine and we were all going to be ok, and then I would scream to the top of my lungs for help, and then tell them again that we were all going to be ok. Their eyes were glued to me and while I appeared 'somewhat' strong I was terrified. I had completely run out of ideas when Jaxon asked if we could just swim to the shore. I had spent every bit of my energy, and I knew that if I left the boat I would have nothing to hold onto, but it was our last option. 

Jaxon took off swimming and I told him to go get help if he made it out before we did. Kade wasn't moving very fast, and Bryce was wrapped around my neck like a tree frog. I tried hanging back with Kade because I just couldn't leave him behind, but I was struggling to keep my head above water. At one point I started to go under and Bryce started choking and panicking and I seriously thought, this is it...I can't do this. I cannot explain the feelings of fear, and weakness, and failure that washed over me in that moment. 

I somehow managed to push myself up and told kade that I wasn't leaving him, but that I was going to swim ahead to a cypress tree. I looked up ahead of us and could no longer see Jaxon. I just prayed that he had made it out. At this point my lips and nose were all I could get above water and I just pushed through until I finally made it to the tree. I looked back and Kade was in the middle of the salvinia just slowly pushing himself through it. We cheered him on until he made it out, and then up the current to the tree with us. We were singing the song from Nemo 'Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!' 

Jaxon had made it out and got our neighbor Jody, who then grabbed a smaller canoe and paddled through the brush, until he found us and helped us back to shore. We had been out on the water for over two and a half hours and by the time I hit dry land I just cried like a baby.

I tell you all of this because, right now, we are in a season of what feels like drowning. For a long time we have felt like we are just barely keeping our heads above water. The weight of the world, circumstances, and hardships have been piling up and sometimes it is just too much to bare. The A/C went out and we needed a new unit, but couldn't afford one, so we went a week without air conditioning. This week alone I have caught 5 mice and a small snake in my house. (Granted, it was a tiny garden snake, but a snake is a snake) Brandon leaves for work every morning before the sun comes up and doesn't come home until it's gone back down, just so we can make ends meet. 

Do you ever feel like this? Do you ever just get tired of treading water? Do you want to finally get to the shore and catch your breath and relax for once? 

It's embarrassing. It's humbling. It's hard to talk about. Our struggles. And because of that, most people don't and feel like they are alone. So we isolate ourselves even more. No one understands what I am going through because everywhere I look everyone is so #blessed! Bitterness starts to creep in as we look at vacation pictures, and new houses, and Pinterest birthday parties, and celebrations, and triumphs; and we start to wonder... Does God just not love me quite as much as all of these people? Cause if he did, wouldn't I have all of those nice things or be enjoying a season of joy and celebration? When I start feeling this way, I don't want to run to Jesus. 

I just don't. I either want to wallow in my anger or numb my mind with distractions so I just don't have to think about it. I know that neither of these things will restore my joy, but I do them anyway. 

Until I begrudgingly open my bible and say, what! What do you want from me? What are you trying to teach me through this? Cause I know all of the 'right' answers, and I'm just tired. And then He does it. I don't know why or how, but every time, He does it. He speaks life back into this weak and worn out soul. 

But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:1-2 

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. Romans 8:35-38

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:16-20

We are loved more than we can possibly imagine or understand by a savior who gave His life just to be with us. Once we experience that love and begin to comprehend it's depth, it starts to empower us. Our hardships might not go away, shoot they might even get worse; but when you experience true love like that, you have a hope and a strength that cannot be explained. My problem is, I keep taking my eyes off Jesus, just like Peter did when he stepped out of the boat to walk across the water to Jesus.

"But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” Matthew 14:30-31

Hard times will continue to come, I am sure of this, but my hope is in Jesus. He is enough. Even on my very worst day. I will probably loose sight of Him again, but He is faithful. 

He pursues me. 

He fights for me. 

He loves me.

So if you have been in a 'drowning' season, give me a call. Seriously. You can come to my messy house. Sit on my back porch. I'll make you some sweet tea and we can talk about it, because you are not alone. 

You are not alone. 

Side note: I have a lot to be thankful for and our family is very blessed. We have a place to live, food to eat, and 3 little boys that still think we're awesome. There will always be someone with more and someone with less. My purpose in writing this is to be honest and hopefully encourage someone who might be in a difficult season. 

You are loved.

How can love defeat hate?

I can't stop thinking about the precious lives that were lost last night in Charleston. My heart is just broken for their family and friends. When things like this happen, I always question, Why? How could this have been prevented? Who could do such a thing? 

Someone doesn't just wake up one day, decide to hate someone that they don't even know, and make a plan to end that person's life. No. Things like this take time. Lots of time. Years of being taught to hate. To hate what is different. To hate what is not like you. Over the years, that hate inevitably causes you to assume that EVERYONE who fits that description much be exactly the same. 

I feel helpless. I wonder if there is any hope for change? What can we do to help this problem? How can we be a part of the solution?

Ask yourself this question.

How many friends do I have that are different from me?

Really ask yourself... how many friends, real friends, do I have that don't look like me

talk like me

act like me

think like me

worship like me

live like me

It is so much easier to be friends with people that are similar to us, because we just have so much in common. But because we are so uncomfortable with different, we simply avoid it. When we avoid it, we don't understand it. When we don't understand it, we make assumptions. When we make assumptions people get hurt. 

I was never taught to hate people, and I think that is true for a lot of us. But we are definitely taught, maybe even conditioned, to assume a lot about people. We take one look at a person and assume we know exactly who that person is. 

Based. on. stereotypes. 

That person must be dangerous because...

That person must be wealthy because...

That person must be uneducated because...

That person must be a hard worker because...

That person must come from a good family because...

That person doesn't belong here because...

And on and on and on and on!!!!

What if..... We stopped for a second...

smiled... held out our hand... and said... I want to know you. I want to know your story, your struggle, your triumphs, your family, your traditions, your heart. I want to know YOU. Because you are precious, and you are valuable, and you are important. And then.... listen. I mean REALLY listen. 

People just want to be loved.

So be love! Be kind when it doesn't make sense! Show grace when you just don't feel like it! Be intentional and get to know people that are not like you.

These are not easy things to do. I am not going to pretend like I am just so incredibly fantastic at this; and that I have tons of friends from every culture, race, and background. I am learning, and messing up, and trying, and growing, and messing up again, and trying again. But I refuse to give up. God has made us all different for a reason and I think those differences can be beautiful and valued and celebrated. But I also know that despite our differences, we are all very much alike.

We just want to be loved.

It's a family tradition

We have had 40 days and 40 nights of straight rain and I am so over it! Well, maybe not 40 but it's been a lot. The lake in our backyard here in Shreveport, has risen up at least 100 feet into our backyard and the mud is just out of control. All this to say, yesterday the skies parted, and hallelujah thank you Jesus I saw the light! Beautiful, warm, glorious sunshine came out and it felt sooo good. We smoked steaks, the boys played ball, and I got to sit on my fabulous new deck.  

How amazing is Brandon Shaver! He can simultaneously play football with Jaxon, baseball with Kade, while entertaining Bryce. What! Which leads me to my story. One thing you must know about Brandon is that he loves sports! Baseball yes, football yes, golf yes, soccer not so much, and then there's basketball. Oh sweet basketball! He's a humble guy so he won't tell you much about it, but back in the day B was the man. He was an all star, blue chip, travel the country kind of player. He had a dream, and it was to play ball. His freshman year of college that all came to a screeching halt when he destroyed his ankle. Three reconstructive surgeries later he's not quite the same, but he can still hang with the best of them and shoot the lights out any day of the week. His love for the game has never stopped and he has absolutely loved coaching our boys and their friends these past few years.

All of this basketball love leads me to one very special event in the Shaver family. March Madness Baby! Now, I must be honest and tell you that, before Brandon, my knowledge of sports was pretty much nonexistent. Come to think of it, I'm surprised he was able to look past that and marry me anyway. I remember my very first encounter with the infamous Earl Dean, (Brandon's dad) He shook my hand, looked me straight in the eye, and said basketball is number one in Brandon's life. I smiled and laughed a little, looked him right back in the eye and said we'll see about that.

For over 22 years the Shavers have been filling out their brackets to see who can pick the sweet 16, elite 8, final 4, and of course the big winner. As soon our boys were old enough to speak they got to choose their brackets too, and whoever wins overall gets treated to dinner. Earl comes from the hills of Kentucky which means we are all huge UK fans! We have UK shirts, mugs, socks, hats, and sweatshirts coming out of our ears thanks to all of the aunts and uncles who send the best Christmas presents. (Love you guys! ) The wildcats are undefeated going into the tournament this year and I have them picked to win it all. Have you filled out your bracket yet?